This has never happened to me, because no one has broken my heart in a mall food court or while on vacation in Pittsfield, Maine, but I understand that sometimes when you break things off with a boo, you inadvertently break things off with places, too. Say you and your significant other have a Japanese restaurant you frequented. Post-separation, you probably don’t go there anymore. And that sucks! But also, I want to hear about it.
You know what to do—down below, share your stories of heartbreak for that cute spot you just can’t bring yourself to frequent anyone. If it was such a dramatic split that you moved cities, I wanna hear those tales, too. Nothing is off limits.
And now, for last week’s winners! These are your petty dating dealbreakers.
ButterscotchScotch, you are 10000000% on the right side of history:
The name Chad. Never met a Chad that was worth any amount of time. Continue to swipe left on all Chads without reading a single thing about them.
Sunshinehappypants, this isn’t petty. It is simply true:
Dumped a guy over his heavy Boston accent. I just couldn’t handle the way he would talk during sex, saying “Oh my gawd, ya tits are ahwsome!”. It was like banging Ted.
we’ll never have paris, this is also just true:
This one is easy: Treating serversretail peopledelivery people…anybody who serves the public…like personal servants to be insulted and abused. I don’t care how nice you may be to me. If you can’t treat another human being who is doing an often thankless job with common decency, that to me signals a serious character flaw. I once left a server a fifty percent tip because my date berated him for “not being quick enough.” She started to give me crap about it and I told her in front of the server that I would never call her again because of her behavior, got up and left.
SkylarM, I don’t drive, but this also pisses off my dad so I think you’re on to something:
A couple of years ago I ran through a string (3) of men that were unable to drive front facing into a parking slot. They backed into every slot. I questioned them and they said the same thing, “Makes for a quick get away.” All three turned out to be obsessive control freaks. Now if a man backs in, even one time, he’s history.
TheOtherNico, I’m not sure it is “petty” to not want to date your dad, but I’m including you anyway because this is gross, lol. Also… are they, like, friends now?:
I introduced a guy I was dating to my Dad and we all went out to dinner. Within 15 minutes, they were finishing each other’s sentences. They ordered near-identicalmeals. I was squicked out when I realized how much he was like my Dad. I broke up with him soon after.
Kris-the-Needlessly-Defiant, this a legit reason to break up with someone. I cannot tell a lie:
I had a varied dating history before marrying many years ago and dumped some dudes for some very pertinent reasons.
The pettiest reason would have to be Safari Shirt Guy. He was a perfectly nice guy who was wearing a normal shirt the night we met. After that every time we saw each other afterwards he wore almost identical beige button up shirts, like Steve Irwin, but untucked. We had a few outdoor dates and he would sometimes spontaneously unbutton the Safari Shirt. Like, all the way. I wasn’t mature enough at that point to sit the guy down and tell him that I hated all of his shirts and the fact that he unbuttoned them in public. So I ghosted him the 90’s way, which involved not answering my phone and skipping class for a few days.
As I mentioned, the guy was nice. I hope he found a Safari girl who likes his style.
ETA or Safari boy.
IinventedPostIts, this tracks:
Film snobs. I work in VFX and having a guy berate my life’s work (“yeah motherfucker, I know these are cheesy movies, but fucking relax…”) was way too insufferable. He was a film student (rolls eyes)
littlesmantha, both of these are real reasons to, as you said, “nope right out of there”:
Once I went home with a guy who paused the action to show me videos of his mom talking about buffering because she was just so cute and I noped right out of there.
I also broke up with someone once because I didn’t like his smell. He didn’t smell bad, just…creepy…and I couldn’t deal.
many bells down, now with .1% more pig, this guy blows:
I’m not sure I can remember any of mine, because I’ve been married for like 15 years, but:
Once I was seeing a guy, and he drove like 20 miles to have lunch with me one day so I paid for lunch, and he dumped me. He said it “made him uncomfortable” that I paid. We’d only been on a couple dates before that, and he’d paid, so I didn’t realize that was apparently his incredibly stupid and petty “dealbreaker.”
I stopped dating a guy because he spelled sexy… SEXCI. Spelling and grammar is important and every time I got a text from him telling me how sexci I am I wanted to vomit
GrandeLatte… are these two different people? If not, sounds like they would be friends. It’s a vibe:
my pettiest reasons:
– he mispronounced ‘Potomac’
– he thought the moon landing was fake
shialabeef, I’m with you. NO GODS, NO MASTERS, NO DJS:
I have dated men who are shorter than me, men who are balding, men with small nail beds (lol @attica) and many more with these types of deal breakers. None of that bothered me. But when a dude says he’s a DJ, I nope the FUCK out of there.
Drop the places you’ll never go down below. And then, I don’t know, consider reclaiming them?