Derick Dillard is being accused of hypocrisy after he praised his wife Jill Duggar for ‘celebrating women’s rights’ — even though they belong to a conservative religious community that places great restrictions on women’s behavior.
In late July, Jill attended a tea celebrating 100 years of women’s suffrage at the Arkansas governor’s mansion, and this week a photo of the 28-year-old and Governor Asa Hutchinson at the event appeared in the local paper.
But when Derick, 31, shared a pictures of it on Instagram and applauded her for supporting the cause, critical comments poured it from people who found his post unintentionally amusing, frustrating, and even infuriating.
Women’s rights? Derick Dillard, 31, shared a photo of a recent item in the local newspaper about Jill Duggar, 28, meeting the mayor at an event celebrating women’s suffrage
‘Proud of my wife @jillmdillard celebrating women’s rights! #womenssuffrage #100anniversary #19thamendment #progress,’ he wrote Wednesday morning.
Immediately, the post was flooded with comments from critics.
Some simply wrote ‘LOL’ or ‘hahahahah,’ calling the post ‘just hilarious’ and pointing out the ‘irony.’
Others were more verbose in criticizing Derick, pointing out all the ways his wife is restricted in her family and community and laying some of the blame on Derick himself.
‘Aren’t the duggar women not allowed to have jobs? Not to mention their stance on reproductive rights. Jill sit the f*** down,’ wrote one.
‘You mean we have equality and shouldn’t be slaves to your husband? Not in your world,’ wrote another.
Not having it: Dozens of social media users called out his hypocracy, arguing that Jill doesn’t have rights and is expected to follow rules set by men
‘And yet all the women in her family are encouraged to be baby making home makers who do nothing but be cheerleaders for their husbands… Women don’t need to be married or have babies you know. Do what you want, but it’s a little odd the encouragement of gender stereotypes in that family,’ said a third.
And another: ‘Does this mean then, that she is standing up for women’s rights even if it doesn’t fall within your religious realm? Fighting for women’s rights means fighting for women to have a choice…which means that choice is not always going to be in line with your religion.’
‘She hasn’t got a clue about women’s rights,’ one more woman said. ‘Look at the way she was raised. She was trained to be subservient to a man. To dress a certain way. She has no rights at all.’
‘Your wife is fighting to have our rights reduced but okay,’ added another, seemingly referring to the Duggars’ anti-abortion stance.
Jill’s family are conservative Christians who follow quite a lot of strict rules — though there seem to be many more restrictions for the women than the men.
Growing up, the girls all adhered to strict codes of modest dressing, covering their shoulders, collarbones, and legs from the knee up. They all exclusively dressed in skirts and dresses, with some only beginning to wear pants after they married — and began following the guidance of their husbands instead of their father, Jim Bob.
Rules: Jill (pictured at the suffrage event at the governor’s mansion) grew up in a strict conservative Christian household
No way out? Jill followed the path of all of the women in her family, becoming a housewife and stay-at-home mom (pictured with Governor Hutchinson)
Votes: She posted in support of the 100th anniversary of women’s suffrage in Arkansas
The Duggars have explained that the girls dress modestly to avoid ‘defrauding’ men and boys.
While still under their parents’ roof, the older sisters helped raise their younger siblings, acting as substitute mothers in a busy household where it was hard to come by one-on-one time with mom Michelle.
They were taught to ‘stay sweet,’ projected a cheerful, meek, and compliant personality.
‘Contentment’ was also a major theme in their household: When the girls found themselves unhappy or dissatisfied with their lot in life, they were encouraged to work on their contentment with how things were, rather than seek out something else that might make them happy.
While none of the Duggars attended college — in fact, they were homeschooled — several of her brothers have gone on to hold jobs.
But none of Jill’s sisters have had jobs, including oldest sister Jana — who, at 29, is still single and living with her parents.
Jill was the only female member of the family to have some employment as a midwife, but she was unlicensed to do so.
She and most of her sisters married young and immediately began having children. In the Duggars’ community, the primary purpose in a woman’s life is to have children and raise them.
In a box: Critics say Jill couldn’t possibly stand up for women’s rights when hers are so restricted
Deal with it: Her parents, Jim Bob and Michelle, encouraged her and her sisters to ‘stay sweet’ and be content with what life gave them
Most of the Duggar girls have had home births, without any pain medication or anesthesia — believing, as fundamentalist Christians are often taught, that the pain of childbirth is women’s punishment for Eve eating the Forbidden Fruit and encouraging Adam to, too.
The women consider themselves ‘helpmeets’ to their husbands, or ‘headships.’ As the head of the family, the men make the rules and decisions, and their wives are expected to follow them.
That includes bedroom activities. Jill’s mother Michelle has explained that a woman should always be ‘joyfully available’ to her husband, even when she’s not in the mood.
Interestingly enough, Derick also insists men need to be ‘joyfully available’ for their wives. Around the same time he shared his Instagram post, he also uploaded a new blog post on the family website.
What will Jim Bob say? Though Jill has stuck to nearly all the rules, she has become one of the more ‘rebellious’ Duggars, piercing her nose and wearing pants
There, he shared his recipe for ‘hot love’ in a marriage — with the number one tip being having sex at least five to six times a week.
‘Have lots of good sex!’ the father-of-two wrote. ‘You both need this time together regularly (5-6 times (or more) a week is a good start).
‘Guys, you need to keep yourself “joyfully available” for your wife, because only you can fulfill certain desires she might have.
‘And when you may not be able to actually have intercourse for a period of time or for health issues, find other ways to have fun and be intimate. Let your spouse know that you’re always available,’ he went on.
He echoed a previous post by Jill, warning others to ‘guard against fulfilling sexual desires alone’ — meaning, not to masturbate.
‘Be open with your spouse about your desires and change things up to keep it exciting!’ he said.
The advice was quite similar to words of wisdom that Jill shared several months ago.
Hot, steamy Duggar sex! Jill previously shared this photo showing her copy of the Kama Sutra (top right) and a sexy bedroom game from the Dating Divas (left)
Family planning: The couple has two children, a four-year-old named Israel and a one-year-old named Samuel
‘Have sex often!’ she wrote. ‘You both need this time together regularly (3-4 times a week is a good start. lol).’
Like Derick, she said that sometimes, it’s not possible to have sex at least every other day, and referenced possible health issues. Though she didn’t name any specifics, Jill did go undergo C-sections with both of her sons.
‘And when you may not be able to actually have intercourse for a period of time or for health issues, find other ways to have fun and be intimate,’ she said. ‘Let your spouse know that you’re a;ways available.’
Referencing masturbation, she added: ‘Guard against fulfilling sexual desires alone.’
‘Be open with your spouse about your desires and change things up to keep it exciting! (Philippians 2:3-4; 1 Corinthians 7:5),’ she went on.
‘If you’re struggling with sex with your spouse, GET HELP! See a doctor and/or licensed counselor and don’t be afraid to get second opinions!’
Jill also advised that wives ‘get new lingerie (online is an easy way to buy!) as a surprise gift for birthdays, holidays, vacations or whenever!’ and go to bed ‘fresh’.
‘Showering in the evening (and sometimes before he gets home if you arrive home before him!), and even putting on fragrant lotion in front of him can be another way to say “I care” and “you’re important to me,” and lets him know you’re up for fun whenever he is,’ she wrote.
Jill is clearly ‘up for fun’ the moment her husband walks through the door — and suggested that wives ‘run’ to their husbands when they get home ‘like you may have done when you were first dating.’
‘And if the kids are gone, have fun with it! Be crazy with your hubby!’ she added.
Finally on the sex front, she said to ‘give at least a 6 second kiss when coming and going’ and ‘be confident about your body’ even if you’re feeling insecure.
‘Chances are, he is less concerned about the things you’re worried about him not liking than you are,’ she wrote.
‘He will be happier when you are confident about yourself. And if there are things you can change or do to be more confident about yourself, then maybe it’s worth doing, or setting a goal to eventually get there!’
Not holding back: Jill’s tips in her marriage blog post were uncharacteristically candid about sex
Jill’s frank sex talk came as quite as a surprise for those familiar with the Duggars. Following the rules set by her parents Michelle and Jim Bob, Jill and her siblings have all followed incredibly strict standards when it comes to dating and contact with the opposite sex.
Rather than date traditionally, the Duggars prefer ‘courtship,’ which they say is ‘dating with a purpose.’
Typically, this involves the young man asking for the permission of the young woman’s parents, and the couple gets to know each other on supervised dates on which they are always accompanied by chaperones.
During that time, physical contact is limited to side-hugs, which prevent the scandalous full-frontal contact of the two bodies. The Duggars’ parents have also been included on text message chains.
Chaperons continue supervising a couple through their engagement, during which time they can add hand-holding to their side hugs.
However, kissing — and everything that comes after it — is saved for the wedding.
When Jill married Derick in 2014, they shared their first kiss at the altar in front of their friends and family.
But Jill’s recent explicit sex talk is a break from family tradition. Her siblings have mostly not referred to sex at all — except in the case of older brother Josh’s dating profiles on sites like ashley madison, as well as his apology for porn addiction and adultery.